Teenage Angst: Cheap wine and bad metaphors

I’m thinking of changing the name of this column from Teenage Angst to What Was I Thinking? Didn’t anyone in Creative Writing class teach me the difference between a good metaphor and a bad one?

Making Wine

I toast a glass full of the finest
To your smile.
I let the glass touch my crimson
Lips when you laugh
And I taste the sweet redness
Of wine when you say
You love me
The glass shimmering and glistening
When I place it on the table
And you hold my hand
The beads of water
Lose their perfection
When they drip down the crystal
As I kiss your lips
And then the once passionate wine
Turns a sinful bitter
When we make love.
The delicate crystal topples and
Wine pours out on the table
When we’re through
The goblet shatters as it
Smashes to the wooden floor
And then you leave
And you never come back.

(Age: 17)

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