Tag Archives: kerouac

truth

  1. I have no tattoos
  2. I love to hear my name
  3. I can drive in any weather
  4. I am forgiving
  5. I still miss my dad
  6. Each year, I ban Christmas music (and that includes humming the tunes) from January 2 until the day after Thanksgiving
  7. I don’t like to cook unless it’s for entertainment purposes
  8. I’m usually always on time
  9. I often misplace my keys
  10. I love bland food.
  11. The only thing I do on my own that I can honestly say really makes me feel alive and whole is sing
  12. The two most important men in my life are my brothers
  13. The older I get the more aware I am that my body is incredibly sensitive to food, drink, the seasons, sleep, sex etc.
  14. Too often I feel like I missed my chance.
  15. In my will I have asked to have my ashes sprinkled down the back roads to Long Beach Island
  16. I don’t believe Jesus walked on water or raised Lazarus from the dead
  17. Two days after I’ve had wine, I get teary and sad.
  18. I don’t feel fat, but I wish I felt fitter
  19. I have several regrets 
  20. Love is the answer
  21. I am the first female in my family to have graduated college and ultimately go to grad school.
  22. I haven’t had a panic attack since December of 2007
  23. Every night Dani, Julien and I read our own books, each beside the other, on my bed. It’s my favorite time of the day
  24. I love heat and humidity
  25. One of my favorite memories was when Jimmy Ibbotson was at the height of his career and he came to stay over night for a while when we were living in Haddon Heights (I was 6 or 7). When I first saw him, he scared the shit out of me with his long hair, and so I hid under the dining room table but he kept trying to grab me, until I cried and my mother said, “Jim, leave her alone.” That kind of Freudian memory was bound to bite me in the ass when I got older and went after long haired musicians.
  26. One of my most disturbing memories was finding porno in my dad’s office and then proceeding to show it to all the neighborhood kids (Refer back to #18 )
  27. There are times when pain feels good
  28. I am addicted to coffee, love and peanut M&Ms
  29. There’s no place like home
  30. Ever since having babies, I need to sleep with a pillow at my stomach.
  31. I don’t dig when men lack self confidence to the point of being afraid to approach a woman for something as simple as sex- especially when they are dating
  32. I am seriously considering a year in the wilderness, living off the land, and teaching my boys how to survive in nature
  33. I’ve driven across the country four times. Twice out, twice back. They were both spiritual journeys I took alone, with my sons 
  34. I need to at once teach and be taught
  35. One of my favorite books of all time is Kerouac’s On the Road, but I never finished reading it. I bought it in 1989, inspired by my then artist boyfriend. It has my father’s own route out West written in it. The reason I won’t finish it is because I don’t want it to end 
  36. I recently learned that the ego is an illusion
  37. I do not watch TV unless I am forced to or I’m bored
  38. Yoga kinda bores me
  39. I despise the issue of sexual hang-ups
  40. I wish I had the will to fast for three days. I love the idea of purity.
  41. I don’t wear much make-up
  42. I’m ready for a nap

 

Love and Jack Kerouac

Love is being able to look deeply into someone’s eyes and no matter what they look like, i do not need to avert my gaze. Love is marveling at the connectivity between me and someone else as we read Bukowski or hold hands and walk through the city at night after seeing “Once.” It’s holding on to someone at two in the morning, on an airplane coming back from Vegas, or driving through the desert and both knowing the history of the land and sharing in that. It’s crying together. It’s worrying about the other. It’s thinking of the other when the other isn’t present. It’s dreaming and living it out at the same time. It’s dancing slowly to Guy Petersen’s voice as he sings Unchained Melody in an empty bar in Wildwood. It’s driving silently down the road and trusting in the driver. Parking way out in the back yard, top down, watching stars fall. It’s playing Damien Rice’s “Delicate” over and over and over and over again while making love on a hot summer night with no air conditioning because we both hate what it does to the environment. Love amazes, never hurts. It heals, it trusts. It makes you feel ALIVE. It makes you want to listen to music and hummm, hummm, hummm that same tune until everyone around you wants to vomit. 

The only people for me are the mad ones, the ones who are mad to live, mad to talk, mad to be saved, desirous of everything at the same time, the ones who never yawn or say a commonplace thing, but burn, burn, burn, like fabulous yellow roman candles exploding like spiders across the stars and in the middle you see the blue centerlight pop and everybody goes “Awww!”
-Jack Kerouac